One of my favorite songs is “Kindness” by David Wilcox (listen here: http://bit.ly/12gRGgb). Sometimes I will tell a single client or friend (or the man in the mirror) to listen to this song. Then I ask them to picture themselves singing this song to the person they are dating (or hoping to date), and assess whether they could honestly mean the words they are singing. If not, I suggest they might want to consider whether to continue the relationship. Of course, a more important exercise would be to turn it around and ask, “Could the person I’m in relationship with sing it to me and feel like it was true?” And here’s another kicker: the true test of kindness is how I treat another person when that person has disappointed me. Most of us are nice enough as long as people are acting the way we want them to act, or giving us what we want. But when someone disappoints us, especially profoundly disappoints us, how do we treat them? An ancient Chinese proverb says, “You find out what’s in a man by what spills out when you bump into him”. I’m afraid I have a long way to go in the category of kindness, but I know I desire few things more, both in myself, others, and the world.
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